Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Quick, to the slutcave!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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