I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize