i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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