Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
