Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
