One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
