toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He shit in the fireplace
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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