don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
