sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize