I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
