I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
