but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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