Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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