just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
