still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize