I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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