.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
