We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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