Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize