3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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