I can't watch pbs sober anymore
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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