I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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