You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
