we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
