standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
