Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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