I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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