I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
