Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Pooping to opera.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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