Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ttyl tear gas
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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