I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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