dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
