oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
