well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
