Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize