kristin has been a bad kristin
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
