office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
