Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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