i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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