everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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