youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
