My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
