why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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