Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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