remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
