i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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