I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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