I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize