also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
