and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize