I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
