12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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