I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
