Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
