how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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