dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
