she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
