She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
