it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
