just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
