Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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