We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
