..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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